Need help from wise Lebanese people

Hi, I live in a small Canadian community of less than 4000. We have many ethnic groups in our community and the Lebonese population is about 25%, in my opinion. I am Metis (half Native Indian) we are probably 40% of the population. I did not grow up here, I married a man who did grow up here. Where I grew up, there were no Lebonese people and I was not considered as Metis because I look white. (French is my other half.) Living here amongst the Lebonese people, I have never questioned anything about them. As I started dealing with them, and meeting them and our kids growing up together in school and sports, I have simply respected them as individuals who don't go to same church as me and never ever thought any further than that.
How do Lebonese men treat the female members of their community? Are they lower class, equal, well respected or what?
Same question for elder people. In my culture, women & elders are very respected.
Please help me with this dilemma:
I have a 14 year old daugher. As girls often do at this age, she had an arguement with one of her friends. This friend has an older Lebonese boyfriend who is 16. What happened was this, the older boyfriend asks a girl in his class who is pretty big and also 16 to beat up my daughter. This girl finds my daughter and tells her to come outside to fight. My daughter replies she doesn't even know her, why would she want to fight her? And she turns and walks away.
The End
i wish
My daughter is scared & crying. She tells me. I phone the boy's cellphone and tell him I want him to leave my daughter alone. I say that if he is so interested in seeing girls fight that he can watch me fight, in fact, if he wants, he can even rumble with me. Sure he says, when and where. We agree to meet on Monday in front of his father's store. He calls me bitch and hangs up. I phone the boy's dad and tell him the whole story. By now, his son is standing next to him, he turns to his son and says, "Did you call Mrs..... a bitch?" "No.", says his son. The dad says his son did not say that and also denies the fact that his son asked another girl to beat up my daughter.
The next day, I sent the boy a text message saying sorry, i can't make it. He txts me back. Words are said in anger finally as this has gone on for hours, back and forth. I said wrong things too, saying finally that I pitied him because it was in his heritage to see violence and retaliation and I didn't understand that. One of the last messages he sent me was , "See you in court, I've saved all these messages!" That was yesterday.
Well, I just got off the phone with the police. Today, the father & his boy went to the cops to see if they could charge me with harassment. The boy does not have it on his text message but conveniently remembers a conversation I seemed to have had with him where I said that I would hold a gun to his head. Anyway, the cops said this issue is over.
I just want to know why a man would not believe an adult before a child and why the effect this has on my daughter means absolutely nothing to he nor to his son. I am rather shocked.
This isn't the whole story, you realize, of course there are more details but I can't write any more right now.
PLEASE help.
MommaBear

Last edited by admin on Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:45 am; edited 1 time in total

Dear friend Momma,
Thanks for writing your experience in DiscoverLebanon.com
It is sad to hear that...
Lebanese in general with all differences in religions respect women and elders (Father and mother and all elders). Be sure of that... dont forget we live in Orient.. and in Orient they have quite solid fondation of family...
What I think regarding your story.. That 16 old boy reflect his own life and own manners how he treats people... it is not at all related to Lebanese culture.. it is an individual problem... simply!!
And I think my friend you are too much focusing on that boy with his adolescent life... and bad manners
I think the main clue in your story and who is rather more responsible is the other boy (friend of your daughter).
If I was you I wouldn't at all call that boy of 16 and go with him with all what you wrote.. I am sorry but I think you went to much with him... Boys at that age 16 are not yet full mature and they act like Childs when they want to appear very strong and quite tough....
Again the main problems comes from the friends of your daughter who acts really in an ugly way....

God Bless your family and protects you

Dear admin
Thank you very much for your advice and opinion. I agree with you totally on almost all of the points you've made. I think when I wrote that message I was very angry. Same as when I spoke to the boy. I admit that I am wrong in doing so. You are right in saying that I should not focus on this boy and I agree and will try to move on. I think I am upset that the father would think that I am lying. Anyway today is a new day.
I appreciate it your opinion. Should I be doing some apologizing?

Welcome,
In this situation and with a lyre father and an adolescent of 16.. I advise you to forget it... don't do anything.... and in term of apologizing.. it is the boy and father who must apologyze as well.. if you do... But better forget everything...
Be sure that the father he knows already all the truth and he knows what bad term his son told...
William MATAR