To be a Lebanese.. be creative

Speech

• You constantly mix Arabic, French, and English "Okay, merci kteer, yallah bye!" "Hi kifak ca va"
• Your statements should start with "Enno".
• The words "Khayi" “Man” "Bro" "Cuz" are a big part of your vocabulary.
• The word "Wallah" has replaced the word "Really" in your vocabulary.
• You Believe that “Bounjouren” “Bonsoiren” are registered vocabulary words.
• You say the words "Stylak" and "Salbe" very often.
• You say "Bolice" for "Police"
• You call a night club "Night" and McDonalds "Macdo"; Abbreviation is a convenient style of communication.
• Your father swears at you with words that affect him (Yilaan Abouk)
• Whenever you see a relative you haven’t seen in a while, you say : ''Yee Shoo mgayar wo mihlaw"
• ''We'll only stay 10 minutes'' means you’re spending the whole day.
• You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".

• You say bye 17 times on the phone, before actually hanging up.
• When you fail, your first words are: most of my friends failed too!

Attitude

• You are so "Class" while everyone else are "Nawar"
• You never stand in line.
• You don't memorize your full National Anthem.
• You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.
• You think that Syrians are the butt of all jokes.
• You can't do anything in life unless you have a Wasta
• If a Cop stops you cause you’ve violated a certain law, God help him since you'll be callingPAPI ...then PAPI will fuck his life.

Food

• You eat almost everything with bread.
• You put olive oil on EVERYTHING and brag about how healthy it is.
• You always need to have a Supply of Nuts & Bizir.
• You always fight over who pays the bill.
• Your mom makes food for 10 people but you are only 3 on the table.
• Your mum cooks a meal that lasts three days

Argileh

To Lebanese Argileh has become as essential as Fresh Air.
• You have to smoke Argileh.
• A good restaurant is measured by how good is their Argileh, and whether the Nara guy is always around!!

Family

• Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner even if you're in the next room.
• You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you a story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school.
• Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
• You have to have at least 3 relatives living in your neighborhood. .
• Your Family is never happy with what you've achieved. If you graduated from school they'll tell you "Eqbel Shahadeh El kbeereh", when u get that "Oqbal el Aroos / Areees", when you get that "Oqbal ma nefrah be Wledkom", and when you get that "Oqbal Shadet Wladkom”, and it keeps on going...

Cars

• You drive a new BENZ but you can’t afford money for gas
• You drive cars with black Fume windows.
• You’re a very good driver, except for the fact that you drive like shit!
• You don’t feel embarrassed filling gas for 3$. (5.000 LBP)
• You can talk on your cell phone, eat a sandwich, drink, and smoke while driving a manual shift.
• You never wear a seat belt.
• You spend all your money buying accessories for the car. (But not Gas).
• You are permitted to have a little chat with your friends in the next car, and block the way on a green traffic light.
• All roads are 2-ways, so driving in the opposite direction is always permit ted.
• If you are a boy you have to learn how to drive when you are 14 years old.
• You stole the car when your Parents were asleep, and were involved in an accident that they don’t know about, till now.

Clubbing

Lebanon = Night Life; No introductions needed here.

• You have to be professional in holding your cigarette and drink in one hand and have easy access to both.
• You think its cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
• You can’t spend the night in one particular Night Club (At least 3).
• You Can Do The Dabkeh

Traveling

• You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport.
• When you arrive at the airport back home you find at least 20 relatives waiting to greet you.
• Getting a visa to Europe or the States is like getting a baby; everybody tells you "Mabrook"

Politics
Last but unquestionably not least.
• You love yellow cause u love "Hezbollah", blue cause u love "future"
• You should get involved in politics, before kindergarten.
• You hope that the political situation will be solved but you know that it won’t.

AT THE END YOU JUST FEEL VERY PROUD FOR SCORING MORE THAN 80% OF THIS FACTS.

Ghassan Chehaid